that was me
with my mom and sister
on Mother's day
B.J. has her coursage
I have the sweet little yellow
dress on that I wore often
I remember how tormented
I was when Mr. Mendek
demanded that we were a dress
and nylons to our band concert
in sixth grade
I had to wear nylon sheers
one on each leg
attached to a garter belt
which rolled up my belly
popping the garter open
and making the nylon fall
I just wanted to wear socks
for the rest of my life...
then panty hose was invented!
Saturday, May 06, 2006
the night my parents bought marlene the horse
that was me
holding the bridle
with my brother, Mark,
told to stand
between the reins
marlene was knowingly
the horse's owner
although we all were
welcome to ride her
the horse's name was Star
and just when this perfect portrait
was snapped
Star spooked at the flash
pulling her head up and away
and the reins
strangled my brother's neck
and left a leather burn
the next month
I was allowed to purchase
a sewing machine
at $6.00 a month
for sixty months
holding the bridle
with my brother, Mark,
told to stand
between the reins
marlene was knowingly
the horse's owner
although we all were
welcome to ride her
the horse's name was Star
and just when this perfect portrait
was snapped
Star spooked at the flash
pulling her head up and away
and the reins
strangled my brother's neck
and left a leather burn
the next month
I was allowed to purchase
a sewing machine
at $6.00 a month
for sixty months
christmas eve in the golden room dressed up
that was me
on the left
forsaking my normal pink
to wear blue
I know I am sick
because I can barely smile
The attitude isn't demure
it's asthma
I'm allergic to evergreen
big time
and that is a real tree
we are sitting beside
on the left
forsaking my normal pink
to wear blue
I know I am sick
because I can barely smile
The attitude isn't demure
it's asthma
I'm allergic to evergreen
big time
and that is a real tree
we are sitting beside
total beauty humiliation
that was me
trying to make the transition
into young ladyhood
I remember
being uncomfortable
in the primping and preparing
for beauty
Today I could be heard to say
"I don't do beauty"
trying to make the transition
into young ladyhood
I remember
being uncomfortable
in the primping and preparing
for beauty
Today I could be heard to say
"I don't do beauty"
girlscouts bell parade
that was me
leading the bell parade
by donnette's side
there was a lady in town
whose last name was Bell
and she collected bells
and she loaned out
hundreds of them
for our parade
it was for a patriot event
where a special monument
to veterans
was being unveiled
on the courthouse lawn
leading the bell parade
by donnette's side
there was a lady in town
whose last name was Bell
and she collected bells
and she loaned out
hundreds of them
for our parade
it was for a patriot event
where a special monument
to veterans
was being unveiled
on the courthouse lawn
girlscouts at father-daughter banquet
that was me
far right
front row
with my beauteous knee-highs
when I went to this banquet
I felt so special
but now all I remember was that
I was mad
because my dad
had to jump up
and take photos
all the time
and it made me sit alone
instead of with my dad
at the father-daughter table
far right
front row
with my beauteous knee-highs
when I went to this banquet
I felt so special
but now all I remember was that
I was mad
because my dad
had to jump up
and take photos
all the time
and it made me sit alone
instead of with my dad
at the father-daughter table
a shaking of the pudding
that was me
helping to make the pudding
when we went camping
I would plan the meals,
for however many days we were to be gone,
make the grocery list,
pack the camping kitchen with supplies
and help to make the food
one of these camping trips
we were headed to california
to see Ella Mae and Earl and
their kids, Lauren, Paul & Mike
helping to make the pudding
when we went camping
I would plan the meals,
for however many days we were to be gone,
make the grocery list,
pack the camping kitchen with supplies
and help to make the food
one of these camping trips
we were headed to california
to see Ella Mae and Earl and
their kids, Lauren, Paul & Mike
cynthia and gail from omaha
that was me
on the very yellow left
looking at the cat
wishing Marlene
wouldn't add it to the picture
that was a time
I'll always remember
when our church
brought children
from an Omaha church
to visit and stay in our homes
during the summer of the race riots
gail wrote my family
for years and years
the last we heard from her
was when she announced
she was getting married
on the very yellow left
looking at the cat
wishing Marlene
wouldn't add it to the picture
that was a time
I'll always remember
when our church
brought children
from an Omaha church
to visit and stay in our homes
during the summer of the race riots
gail wrote my family
for years and years
the last we heard from her
was when she announced
she was getting married
Karen, Carla and Me decked out in pink
that was me
white headbanded
sleeveless
button up shirt
with tiny collar
Karen and I were cousins
Carla and Karen were cousins
and we showed up
somewhere
dressed like this
without planning it
white headbanded
sleeveless
button up shirt
with tiny collar
Karen and I were cousins
Carla and Karen were cousins
and we showed up
somewhere
dressed like this
without planning it
A special Christmas 1963 with Karen Jean at Grandma Marie's
that was me
looking at the camera
with my knuckles tucked under
my chin
my grandma marie to my left
my cousin Karen to my right
this around the table scene
in grandma and grandpa's dining room
is as familiar as tapioca pudding
that was the last
Christmas
with Karen
the Christmas of the jewelry boxes
and art sets
looking at the camera
with my knuckles tucked under
my chin
my grandma marie to my left
my cousin Karen to my right
this around the table scene
in grandma and grandpa's dining room
is as familiar as tapioca pudding
that was the last
Christmas
with Karen
the Christmas of the jewelry boxes
and art sets
swings in my backyard
that was my childhood home
as seen from the west door
before the garage became attached
that was my swingset
my dad made for us
on the farm
and brought it to our town home
which I'm sure was not easy
that is donnette with her knee
on a swing
and my sister hanging upside down
that is greg schaffert's house,
neighbor and classmate,
in the background
as seen from the west door
before the garage became attached
that was my swingset
my dad made for us
on the farm
and brought it to our town home
which I'm sure was not easy
that is donnette with her knee
on a swing
and my sister hanging upside down
that is greg schaffert's house,
neighbor and classmate,
in the background
nine and pink party
that was me
getting ready to blow out
the candles
and make a wish
note the pink shasta
we had to drink
the guests are named in the next photo
getting ready to blow out
the candles
and make a wish
note the pink shasta
we had to drink
the guests are named in the next photo
center of attention at 9
that was me
biting my lower lip
while I concentrate
on opening my package
left to right
debbie person
me
paula reisinger
cheryl strong
janet weedin
pam till
kathry tucker
roberta luthy
marlene my sister in the back
and denise bamesberger
in the foreground
biting my lower lip
while I concentrate
on opening my package
left to right
debbie person
me
paula reisinger
cheryl strong
janet weedin
pam till
kathry tucker
roberta luthy
marlene my sister in the back
and denise bamesberger
in the foreground
my seventh birthday on the seventh
that was me
at the far right
posing with my knuckles
under my chin
I love how I am being held
by grandpa pete
how the shot captures
how tired my mom
looks
how sweet grandma
smiles
how the army men
are being positioned
around the birthday cake
and I wonder
why Marlene's chair
is empty
to the right of my dad
at the far right
posing with my knuckles
under my chin
I love how I am being held
by grandpa pete
how the shot captures
how tired my mom
looks
how sweet grandma
smiles
how the army men
are being positioned
around the birthday cake
and I wonder
why Marlene's chair
is empty
to the right of my dad
everything 50's in 1965
that was my mom
setting the table
in the kitchen
which became the dining room
note the burnt
matchstick cross on the pegboard
rack above the kitchen counter
probably made by my brother
Mark
in boy scouts
setting the table
in the kitchen
which became the dining room
note the burnt
matchstick cross on the pegboard
rack above the kitchen counter
probably made by my brother
Mark
in boy scouts
piano stuffed walls
that was my brother
Mark
playing Schumann's Book one
on the piano
which my mom learned to play on
It sat in a neat little alcove between closet and door to my bedroom but in order to get it there it had to have the top
sawed off
just a schmidge
Mark
playing Schumann's Book one
on the piano
which my mom learned to play on
It sat in a neat little alcove between closet and door to my bedroom but in order to get it there it had to have the top
sawed off
just a schmidge
Sunday, April 09, 2006
state fair singing champs
that was me
just to the right
of the purple ribbon
we won
belonging to the 4-H club
called
The Town and Country Lassies
and spending years
with this little club
just to the right
of the purple ribbon
we won
belonging to the 4-H club
called
The Town and Country Lassies
and spending years
with this little club
christmas of my babydoll
that was me
posing with my babydoll
having chosen her
to hold
over my first-ever Barbie
learning the art
of display:
Christmas gifts "still life"
which I passed on to my kids
seeing the picture
is a little like peeking
into a time capsule
posing with my babydoll
having chosen her
to hold
over my first-ever Barbie
learning the art
of display:
Christmas gifts "still life"
which I passed on to my kids
seeing the picture
is a little like peeking
into a time capsule
Cole's Park Bickford Family Reunion (about 1961)
that was me
clear to the left
of the reunion group
knowing that these people
were relatives
but not really understanding
since we rarely
got together
clear to the left
of the reunion group
knowing that these people
were relatives
but not really understanding
since we rarely
got together
a tent for fun
that was me
claiming one of the two
lawn chairs
to sit like the queen
outside of our new
Sears Roebuck tent
with an awning
made out of the front flap
Karen sits in the queen chair
closest to the camera
I am in repose in the background
claiming one of the two
lawn chairs
to sit like the queen
outside of our new
Sears Roebuck tent
with an awning
made out of the front flap
Karen sits in the queen chair
closest to the camera
I am in repose in the background
Marie n Pete in the home I later owned
that was me
taking a photo
candidly
with my instamatic
and quite actually
capturing
grandma and grandpa
in a neat exchange
taking a photo
candidly
with my instamatic
and quite actually
capturing
grandma and grandpa
in a neat exchange
At Grandma Marie's in Hampton for a special meal
that was me
not at the adult table
and not quite sure
my brother Mark is
that was me
noticing my aunt lavon
laughing at what mark
was doing and
seeing the carved look
on my mom's face
knowing she isn't very happy
with what he is doing
not at the adult table
and not quite sure
my brother Mark is
that was me
noticing my aunt lavon
laughing at what mark
was doing and
seeing the carved look
on my mom's face
knowing she isn't very happy
with what he is doing
ballet line up
that was me
in Hampton auditorium
where the Booster days
are held
trying my chances
with ballet
which in this small community
meant barefoot
in Hampton auditorium
where the Booster days
are held
trying my chances
with ballet
which in this small community
meant barefoot
my one and only dance recital
that was me
on the right with the great gams
waiting until my sister
in the middle
remembers the steps
so the rest of us
could get on with the show
that was me
saying "never again"
on the right with the great gams
waiting until my sister
in the middle
remembers the steps
so the rest of us
could get on with the show
that was me
saying "never again"
mr.& mrs. ediger 1960
that was my mom and dad
posing in the very corner
of the living room
in aurora
where many family couples
will pose
including prom dates
and grandpa pete and grandma marie
posing in the very corner
of the living room
in aurora
where many family couples
will pose
including prom dates
and grandpa pete and grandma marie
who's your mama in 65?
that was my mom
looking pretty sharp
posing against a wall
of a house
she would transpose
into a mansion
looking pretty sharp
posing against a wall
of a house
she would transpose
into a mansion
cliff on his motorcycle
that is my dad
the way he wants to be remembered
as an adventurer
wild entreprenuer
and free spirit
the way he wants to be remembered
as an adventurer
wild entreprenuer
and free spirit
thanksgiving at the children's table
that was me
enjoying my turkey
not able to put it down
long enough for the picture
that was my cousin
Karen Jean
sitting at the table
with my sister and me
enjoying my turkey
not able to put it down
long enough for the picture
that was my cousin
Karen Jean
sitting at the table
with my sister and me
jane haircut (as in dick and jane) and perm after kindergarten
that was me
standing in front
of 1519 13th Street
before the front porch
was boxed in
that was me
with hair so curled
it didn't look like me
and the homeperm smell
stayed forever
standing in front
of 1519 13th Street
before the front porch
was boxed in
that was me
with hair so curled
it didn't look like me
and the homeperm smell
stayed forever
Saturday, April 08, 2006
three on a sofa
that was me
in the living room
in aurora
which converted
into a "sitting room"
for portrait taking
Daddy Cliff was making
a living working for Higgin's
in York
but on weekends
the T.V. room was closed
for Cliff's Photo customers
in the living room
in aurora
which converted
into a "sitting room"
for portrait taking
Daddy Cliff was making
a living working for Higgin's
in York
but on weekends
the T.V. room was closed
for Cliff's Photo customers
early cliff's photo pose
that was me
sitting on the round hassock
which twirled
around and around
posing in my new perm
like a movie star
sitting on the round hassock
which twirled
around and around
posing in my new perm
like a movie star
cutting cake me in front
that was me
on the far left
watching the camera (again)
while Mommy helps Marlene
cut her January birthday cake
the scene is in front of the Frigidare
in aurora's kitchen
on the North side
where the dining room
someday will be
on the far left
watching the camera (again)
while Mommy helps Marlene
cut her January birthday cake
the scene is in front of the Frigidare
in aurora's kitchen
on the North side
where the dining room
someday will be
johnson lake cabin
that was me
looking straight at the camera
as the film captured
a marvelous time capsule
of tin glasses of Kool-aid,
Tupperware, jar of pickles
and stick of butter on fancy white plate
looking straight at the camera
as the film captured
a marvelous time capsule
of tin glasses of Kool-aid,
Tupperware, jar of pickles
and stick of butter on fancy white plate
august 1960 grass picnic
that was me
imprinting indelibly
the romantic smells of blanket,
grass, heat and crayon
creating the imaginary place
I'll always try to get back to
imprinting indelibly
the romantic smells of blanket,
grass, heat and crayon
creating the imaginary place
I'll always try to get back to
riding motorized swings
that was me
in my sweater
and cafe length pants
my mom used to call 'Pedal Pushers'
in my sweater
and cafe length pants
my mom used to call 'Pedal Pushers'
sisters on toy equipment
that was me
playing some sort of traincar
pumping action
on some overgrown track
in no-wheres-ville vacation
that was me
on the right
and my sister
Marlene on the left
playing some sort of traincar
pumping action
on some overgrown track
in no-wheres-ville vacation
that was me
on the right
and my sister
Marlene on the left
preschool janaree's bday
that was me
kneeling on handmade wooden
picnic bench at Cole's Park
opening a present
while Mark opens his
that was me
turning four
I believe, Karen behind me,
Marlene at the end
and the Bergman's on Mark's side
kneeling on handmade wooden
picnic bench at Cole's Park
opening a present
while Mark opens his
that was me
turning four
I believe, Karen behind me,
Marlene at the end
and the Bergman's on Mark's side
cousins & uncle shorty
that was me
helping I thought
by grabbing Mark's shoe
as he rode piggy back
on Tom's back
that was Karen
standing in the neatest
cafe-length pants
watching uncle Shorty
try to take a photo
helping I thought
by grabbing Mark's shoe
as he rode piggy back
on Tom's back
that was Karen
standing in the neatest
cafe-length pants
watching uncle Shorty
try to take a photo
a fishing grandpa
that was me
holding to the idealism
that grandpa pete
saw in fishing
when I was twelve
I would go with him
take my bamboo pole
like huck finn
and sit my my grandpa
and fish
holding to the idealism
that grandpa pete
saw in fishing
when I was twelve
I would go with him
take my bamboo pole
like huck finn
and sit my my grandpa
and fish
birthday by the lake
that was me
with plaid dress
sitting so I could see
the doll cake
that was for me
a fishing trip
to johnson lake
I think
with lots of family
and a real baked beans
and grandma marie's fried chicken (cold)
with plaid dress
sitting so I could see
the doll cake
that was for me
a fishing trip
to johnson lake
I think
with lots of family
and a real baked beans
and grandma marie's fried chicken (cold)
janaree's balloon party
that was me
just behind the crepe paper
streaming down from the balloons
getting my fill of exhultation
and a definition of celebration
my birthday
belonging to me
like having the right
to have a big deal made over me
just because
just behind the crepe paper
streaming down from the balloons
getting my fill of exhultation
and a definition of celebration
my birthday
belonging to me
like having the right
to have a big deal made over me
just because
Grandma Lillian holding Lauren, Marlene on the left, Janaree on the right
Grandma Lillian holding Lauren, Marlene on the left, Janaree on the right
Originally uploaded by Zama Ree Do.
wearing a poodle on my shirt
hair pulled back into a ponytail
watching the baby closely
I didn't know then
that my grandma was ill
we stayed in Chicago for a winter
and next time I saw her
was in a coffin
in Aurora
a christmas meal with monnie (nellie grace)
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On the farm birthday celebration
that was me
sister towers over the table
handcuffs and cake
brother opens holster and gun
cousin watches brother
that was me
opening the doll
which would sleep
in the lacey shoebox cradle
sister towers over the table
handcuffs and cake
brother opens holster and gun
cousin watches brother
that was me
opening the doll
which would sleep
in the lacey shoebox cradle
Mark, Marlene & Janaree by the garden gate
that was me
smallest on the left
hand in a fist
and mad we hand to stand still
perfect composition
sublime matching dresses
the picket gate in view
with the family posed just so
it was a day on the farm
important guests
for easter or mother's day
we made a great memory for my mom
smallest on the left
hand in a fist
and mad we hand to stand still
perfect composition
sublime matching dresses
the picket gate in view
with the family posed just so
it was a day on the farm
important guests
for easter or mother's day
we made a great memory for my mom
hands are gorgeous
that was me
tucking my chin just so
displaying my fingers
against freshly polished shoes
tucking my chin just so
displaying my fingers
against freshly polished shoes
portrait of janaree age 2?
that was me
sitting up tall
and smiling
mommy made my dress
daddy took my picture
sitting up tall
and smiling
mommy made my dress
daddy took my picture
baby janaree portrait
that was me
with perfect rosebud lips
happy to pose for daddy
in a make-shift studio
visionary eyes
from the very beginning
the hands of a writer
and a heart of a lover
with perfect rosebud lips
happy to pose for daddy
in a make-shift studio
visionary eyes
from the very beginning
the hands of a writer
and a heart of a lover
infant n overstuffed chair
that was me
farm girl
north of hampton
last born of three
upon my first birthday
my folks had babies
ages one, two and three
& the farm wasn't doing so well
farm girl
north of hampton
last born of three
upon my first birthday
my folks had babies
ages one, two and three
& the farm wasn't doing so well
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